The question about teenage relationships
February 15, 2011
When people think about teenage relationships, their minds jump to the words “puppy love” and “summer flings”, which goes to show exactly how serious they feel young love is. This notion is brought by the many movies which depict “teenage relationships”; you know the one: boy meets girl during summer break, they like each other, date each other and at the end of the summer they separate promising to write to each other. But high school relationships are sorely underestimated; people are afraid to see the truth. The truth is that while some relationships may be superfluous and temporary, there are some which hold true and have a deep bond.
We can assume all we want but to get answers we went and asked Janel Quoc, a Junior at WHS and Phoenix Maggiore, who are currently dating and have been for about two years. Here are some questions about their relationship and how they feel about teenage relationships in general.
Q: When did you start dating? How did you start dating?
Janel: We started dating about 2 years ago on April 17, 2009. He found me on MySpace as lame as that is, but yeah. He started commenting me, and then we started texting. I know this sounds really sketchy and no, I don’t advise everyone finding people online, but he comes to visit me all the time and my parents love him. So, [it] worked out for me. *laugh*
Phoenix: My relationship [with Janel] started on Myspace on April 17th, 2009. We had already had each other added at friends, but had not really talked to one another. So basically, we started commenting, messaging, then texting, and after a while decided to have a long distance relationship and here we are almost 2 years later.
Q: How do you manage your time while dating?
Janel: Basically I spend my time equally doing school stuff, paying attention to my boyfriend, and being with family. School is really important to my future so I can’t slack on that. And my relationship with my boyfriend is long distance; he’s in Louisiana right now. So we spend as much time of our day when I’m not in school or when he’s not in college webcamming on our Xbox 360’s, on the phone, texting, and playing videogames together, etc. My weekends and Mondays are reserved for spending time with my parents, but if there’s a big event like a concert or something, I’ll be out with my friends. The reason my friends aren’t as much of a big chunk of my time is that my best friend is going to Ohlone. But I do fit my other friends in during lunch at school or afterschool mainly.
Phoenix: Well, on an average day, I go to college and take my classes as usual, and then I come home and do homework while [Janel] is in school. When she gets off of school, if she’s not with a friend or anything, we will talk on the phone, text, or webcam. I do not physically see her, as we have a long distance relationship, but this works very well.
The weekends are more reserved for straight girlfriend time, though on Saturdays I have a little more time to myself, so I’ll get shopping done, maybe clean up a little bit, go out to eat with a room mate, and such.
Q: Even though you are dating, how do you feel about high school dating in general?
Janel: I think it’s pretty dumb, especially freshmen and sophomore dating. All I hear is drama about cheating and lying. I don’t have as much drama because my boyfriend’s 18, and we’re both straightedge. We have to trust each other a lot since its long distance.
Phoenix: Meh, I suppose it’s mainly stupid. Where I grew up, when kids were dating, it was never a ‘relationship’ kind of thing, it was just dating to date. My group of friends always dated someone with the mindset of ‘I want this to go as far as possible, because I really like this person’ and if a couple broke up, it was a big thing. I guess it’s sort of a way to get your feet wet for the real dating world, though most of the time; it’s filled with unnecessary drama that younger people shouldn’t have to deal with.
Q: How do people around you (parents, friends) feel about this relationship in high school?
Janel: I haven’t heard anything negative about my relationship really. My mom’s really cool with it and she introduces Phoenix as her future son-in-law to her coworkers. Dad’s also pretty good with it. When Phoenix comes to visit me in the summer and during school breaks, they let him actually stay in my house, not in a hotel. Of course, he’s on the couch downstairs, but it’s pretty cool having him around. (:
Phoenix: Well, first of all I’m not in high school, she is, and my parents really see no problem with that. My mom asks me about Janel all the time to make sure both her and I are doing okay, and she seems to like her. My dad isn’t here a lot, but when he is he asks if I am still with her. When I say yes, he says he’s happy for me; so I doubt he has a problem with it.
Q: How do you feel about long distance relationships?
Janel: Haha well. I like it better than having a boyfriend here. There’s no pressure for intimacy, and no drama. In past relationships where the guy and I went to the same school, there was a lot of jealousy and just BS stuff happening. Sure, it takes a lot of trust and communication on both of our ends, but we make it work. I always cry when he leaves and my house feels empty, but compared to how awesome it is when he’s here and how much fun I have showing him California, it’s so worth it. I can’t wait for him to move here for Culinary school! <3
Phoenix: I support them. I know they can work if the effort is put into it, but they are not for the lazy or uncaring. It requires a lot of time, perseverance, and persistence, but is as rewarding as any other given relationship, probably more due to the fact that it takes so much. Go long distance woo!
Q: What is your opinion on Valentine’s Day? Is that how you felt when you were single?
Janel: Valentine’s isn’t that important to me. It kind of never has been. In my last relationship, I remember being hella bummed that the guy I was dating just gave me like one red flower. Not even a rose. Since that I don’t have a high expectation which makes my boyfriend’s job easier. haha
Phoenix: To me Valentine’s Day isn’t any different [than any other day]. I try my best to make my girl feel special and loved everyday, so really on Valentine’s Day, there’s no special routine. I haven’t had a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day before, so it was always kind of a downer for me, seeing everyone else having someone. It wasn’t my favorite day of the year by far.
Q: Are you planning to do anything special for Valentine’s day?
Janel: Not really, I know he’s sending me a bunch of stuff. I’m really stubborn so I made him ruin the surprise and tell me everything…but yeah, I usually have therapy on Mondays at 5pm so I cancelled it so we can have more time talking or whatever.
Phoenix: I sent her a ton of stuff, but it’s not a surprise, as I wish I would have been. *sad face* But other than that, I plan to webcam and be on the phone most of the day, which is normal, but, I don’t really know what else to do.